5 posts tagged “work”

I stood at the front of the board room, projector pen in hand:  "Does anyone have any questions?"

A sea of blank faces greeted me.  Apparently, the entire team already knew everything there was to know about using email marketing.

"Ok...  Lets take a break, and meet back in five mi..."

Before I could finish, everyone stood up and left.  

I stared at the endless pages of my Power Point presentation.  I'd been up all night preparing for this training session.  The Managing Director of this particular company was having a bit of a love affair with Power Point.  His favourite phrase was "Lets present that on the projector!@#"  Ugh.

In light of the fact that I hadn't managed to consume enough liquid crack (coffee..) that morning, and that my letter of resignation was already written.  I just wasn't in the mood for pretending I gave a toss about e-marketing, or anything else for that matter..  I didn't.  And I knew full well that my presentation was boring these poor people to death.  This wasn't me - this wasn't how I did things..  No one wants to listen to someone talk for hours - people need to engage. 

After our break (during which time I managed to chain smoke myself back into reality), I decided that I had two options.  I could lose all credibility and self-respect by delivering this appauling Power Point presentation that the MD had requested and my boss had authorised.  Or, I could take matters into my own hands and risk getting a mouthful from the MD and/or my boss. 

I'd already written my letter of resignation, and I was determined to walk away knowing that I'd achieved something.  So, I put the presentation to one side and announced that we were going to do something a bit more 'interactive'.

With everyone sat back at their desks, with steaming cups of coffee and notepads - I stood up and talked everyone through the new software.  All of a sudden the bored sea of middle-aged faces disappeared as the paired-up staff went through the basics of the system.  I flitted between pairs, answering questions and guiding people who were stuck.

I'd always wanted to be a nursery school teacher, as I thought it would be the most rewarding age to teach.  What could be more satisfying than teaching a child how to write his or her first word?

I'm not sure it was more satisfying than my dream-job.  But as I walked out of the office at six thirty this evening - despite hating my boss - I had a smile on my face.  I have to be honest - I was in my element doing that training session today.  I knew I'd taken a risk by scrapping the well-planned presenation and letting ten IT-shy middle aged marketers loose with new software.  But as soon as I started the presentation, I knew it wouldn't work.  You can't explain some things, you have to show people.  Once they've done it for themselves, it all suddenly makes sense. 

It wasn't the fact that everyone understood the basics that had made me smile.  It was quite simply that instead of spending the afternoon pretending to listen to me - everyone seemed to have learnt something and had a bit of fun. 

I'm probably going to be told off by my boss tomorrow.  We don't 'do' flair - we do traditional and professional.  I train, I support, I explain.  I'm not paid to be creative - I'm paid to be helpful and patient.  To explain things simply in a straight forward manner.  But that doesn't always work.  Just because people are 'adults' it's usually assumed that a 'seminar' is the best approach to training.  Why not let people loose and take the old-school Do-and-Learn approach sometimes?  

I'm intelligent enough to know when something's wrong and when something's right.  And when our client shook my hand tonight, thanking me for an 'innovative' session - I knew I'd done the right thing. 

I still haven't made my mind up about that letter of resignation - but I've made up my mind about something..  If I do leave, it wont be my loss, and I realise that now.     

As I crammed the remenants of a 'feel-better' giant vanilla slice into my mouth in my lunchbreak, I mentally planned out my letter of resignation.

After a horrendous day at work (to rephrase, "Dear boss, I think you're a fuckrag.") - I drove home in a slight rage.  I even bleeped my horn at an elderly lady who was driving 30mph in a 40 zone (well for fuck's sake - some of us have to get home to our wine).

And then, as I flipped the radio over to Radio 1 (on offchance, because I hate Radio 1) - Greenday's Basket Case was playing.

I was reminded of being fifteen, kissing my (then)boyfriend in his parent's garage - and swearing that I would never change.  I thought I would always have black dyed hair, wear hoodies with inappropriate words on.  That I would always have boyfriends who treated me like dirt, and worst of all - that I would never be good enough for anyone 'better'.

I have changed.  Back then, even at fifteen - I was a doormat.  It wasn't that I was naieve, or 'too young to know better'. I was quite simply a doormat. 

And now?

Well, today I told my boss that his lack of flexibility and poor attitude was about to lose him a member off staff that clients have referred to as "an asset to the company."  I reduced an account manager to a gibbering mess, after verbally beating the crap out of him for using the phrase "Can I speak to the real person in charge of IT?" - and subsequently saying "Oh sorry, you can hardly blame me for thinking you're a receptionist!  I've never seen an IT girl who wears blouses* - I just assume all geeky girls are lesbians!"

*(For the record my blouse was a chocolate brown sheer shirt, with tiny white polka dots, rouching at the back, a ribbon tie at the front and cute little mushroom buttons.  It is not a fucking blouse.  It is a beautiful shirt, and I love it dearly.  ...Plus, my tits look great in it.)

Am I a bitch?  Yes, actually.  But only when it's deserved.  And quite frankly, I like who I am now.  At fifteen (give or take a few years), I did many things simply because I wanted to be liked, to fit in.  I had a large group of friends, and sucession of boyfriends - and I was close to no one.  Now, I have a partner who (mostly, bearing in mind that he is, afterall, a man!) understands me.  I have very few friends, but the ones I do have are real friends.  I have cut ties with the sucession of (ex)boyfriends that I was clinging to.  Best of all, I genuinely don't care what anyone thinks.  I behave politely, and I respect other people's feelings - I'm not reckless, but I speak my mind and I stand up for what I believe in..  Myself.

I'm fully aware that my boss thinks I'm mouthy and outspoken.  But I am not disrespectful - I speak the truth and that's what he disliked.  He picked the wrong girl to try and manipulate, and very slowly - he's starting to realise that he may just have met his match.

You see - he might be a stubborn control freak.  But I spent a lot of years as a doormat.  And hell hath no fury like a woman who's been walked all over.