4 posts tagged “other half”

I decided not to make any new year's resolutions..  I only break them, and honestly - I just couldn't be arsed this year.

Then, I had a slightly tipsy conversation with a close friend (CF) this evening..

CF:  "What's your resolution for this year?"

Me:  "To only drink very expensive wine, when you're paying."

CF:  "Seriously, don't you have one?"

Me:  "No, I only break them.  And anyway, I'm fickle and weak-willed when it comes to things like that."

CF:  "You know, my therapist has told me to start writing positive things about myself, in a list.. You should do it too, then when you're semi-drunk and whiny, I can refer you back to your list, instead of having to say 'no sweetheart, you're not a horrible person - and no your tits are not crap.."

Me:  "That's not fair - I console you when you're all whiny and drunk!  Anyway, why would I write a stupid list?  I couldn't even write a list of things."

CF:  "Precisely.  Positive thinking!  My therapist is great, you should take the advice.."

Me:  "You want me to start writing a list of all the good things about myself, because your therapist told you to do it!?  I don't even have a therapist - I don't need to start writing lists.  Don't be so ridiculous, it sounds like a complete load of hippy-crap."

CF:  ".....If you don't have a therapist, what does that make me?"

Me:  "My friend!"

CF:  "Yeah, your therapist.  I just don't get paid.  Put down the wine and write the list.. I dare you."


And there it was..  "I dare you".  
Never one to take advice, but always one to rise to a challenge - I finished my glass of wine, and prepared to write the list.

I got as far as "I quite like how my new underwear makes my bottom look perky."

Second attempt..  "I have been told that I have a nice arse."  - Ok, forget the bottom.  I actually don't mind my arse - but clearly, it wasn't a suitable subject for 'positive thinking' exercises..  I was failing to take anything seriously at this point - and was frankly more interested in my wine and listening to Joni Mitchell..

Another go, another glass of wine..  -  I am a good listener." 
Actually, I am a good listener. 

I'm not going to pretend that I gave up the vino in exchange for navel-gazing..  I just figured that the wine and the hippy bullshit 'positive thinking' concept could co-exist.

A few hours (and glasses of wine) later - I got a message from the CF, stating that she expected this to be a serious matter, and not a list that detailed how wonderful I was at drinking tequila from ice fountains (don't ask)...

I still haven't really started the list.  I think it'll take a few bottles of wine, let alone a few glasses.  I could fill pages and pages if I wrote a list of positive things about other people, but I find it extremely hard to voice positive things about myself.  I mean, I'm aware that I have some good points, and I may realise what a few of them are..  But it seems horribly conceited and self-obsessed to go through positive points about yourself..

Why is it that when we can find good in other people, we struggle to recognise the good in ourselves?

The other-half frequently tells me, "I wish you saw in yourself what others see in you.."

I've said that phrase to many people - wishing that they'd only realise how wonderful they really were.  I've said that phrase to people for years.. People who still believe that they are worthless, that they're 'bad'..   I don't think that about myself, but admittedly - I can be my own worst enemy at times.

So, in the spirit of New Year's Resolutions - I will complete my list (and quite possibly turn into a shrivelled up old alcoholic while I'm at it)

I adore Annie Dennison's blog..  Her words of wit and wisdom have made me almost choke on my mid morning black coffee at work..

According to my darling Annie - this year, I will be smarter.

And this year, when it comes to the man in my life, I will remember that a few small sacrifices mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.  Oh, and I'll re-awaken our love for sexy underwear (I think my granny pants could do with a break..).

It's the only resolution I'll make this year, and no doubt it'll be more effective than a few half-arsed attempts to give up smoking or drinking red wine.  Plus, it'll be worth the effort ;)

I threw a party this Christmas..  Possibly one of the most stressful parties I've ever thrown - but I did myself proud.. And I'm going to brag about it! ;)

I did a boxing-day-buffet..  All home cooked food, lots of wine, lots of alternatives for the non-wine-drinking crowd..  After a day spent flapping about in the kitchen, I had a fridge full of nibbles, snacks and what-ever-else you want to call buffet food..  When the guests arrived, I kissed and hugged, opened wine handed out drinks, made small talk..  I'd planned my lighting perfectly - not so dark that people couldn't see, but dim enough to be relaxing..  We had drinks, I cooked the hot food, uncovered the cold food - and handed out my best china plates for people to eat from (whilst praying no one would break anything!)..

After spending quite literally a whole day cleaning the house and preparing food - I watched the buffet diminish quickly..  My home made pastries and sandwiches disappeared, hand carved meats and sliced cheeses were wolfed down as though they hadn't taken me forever to prepare and present.. 

Three glasses of (good) wine later, I managed to actually relax, and eat something..  (I always find that hours of cooking leaves me with absolutely no desire to eat).  My family and friends crammed into my tiny living room - sprawled across the sofas and the floor..  Wine flowed, music blared and people talked about drunken rubbish..

And then, in the middle of washing up the dirty dishes, in my party dress and four inch heels.. The other half came into the kitchen, slipped his arms around my waist and whispered,

"All that hard work paid off, baby..  Everyone is having a wonderful time and you look amazing.  I can't wait to throw dinner parties for my friends, just so I can show off my beautiful, talented wife.."

And that, made the hours of work, the beaten-up-credit-card and the fairy-liquid splashes all over my ridiculously expensive dress - all worth it.  I had actually enjoyed playing at being a domestic goddess.. I was appreciated, and I was loved.