5 posts tagged “family”

My sister and I have never got on.  Our dysfunctional love-hate relationship began when I was about six, and she stopped being a new 'doll' to play with, as she grew into the hair-pulling toddler-age.

She's family, she's my baby sister - and I'll stand behind her, I'll fight her fights for her and I'll rip the balls off any man who tries to mess her around.  I love her.  But I don't exactly like her.  And the feeling is absolutely mutual.

Chalk and cheese doesn't even begin to describe us.  My pot-smoking, loud-mouthed tart of a little sister speaks to my parents in ways that I would never even contemplate.  Her 'punk/emo' dress sense and dodgy blonde highlights make me cringe, and her boyfriends are, without fail, intolerable.

She dropped out of college a few weeks before her final exams, and began (after a year of doing absolutely fuck-all) a job working in a dead-end admin job.  Night after night she would (and still does) come home and relay how 'stressful' her job was.  She'd then march down to the pub, come home wasted - and be at least an hour late for work every morning.  How she manages to keep that job, I will never know..  But recently, I've seen a change.

Her tiny plaid mini-skirts, complete with multiple chains and skull keyrings, have been occasionally exchanged for clothing that would be viewed as 'acceptable' for work (i.e. clothing that doesn't scream 'prostitution').  She's very slowly realising that her boyfriend is a waste of space - and while she loves him, that doesn't excuse the fact that he's an arsehole. 

My baby sister seems to be (gradually) growing up.  About time too..

Since the other-half has been away, I have admittedly become reasonably boring.  A year ago, you'd have found me crawling home from clubs at 6am, or dancing on tables with my clan of close male friends.  I had a reputation for being a 'party girl'.  Opening nights for clubs and bars were attended without fail, and I could drink most people under the table. 

And now?  My best friend is suddenly my mother.  I've taken up scrapbooking and I can't remember the last time I went to a decent bar.  I swapped my slutty knee boots and mini skirts for knee-length office attire (with slutty-knee-boots underneath, for good measure).  Somewhere along the line, I got old.  I got mundane

The final kick in the teeth, was a comment my sister made to my mother - which was kindly relayed to me:
        "Don't you think she should make some friends or something?  I mean, she hangs out with you.  That's not normal."

I moved cities under a year ago - and left my friends behind.  I know people here, but I don't really have any desire to spend my free time with them.  I work hard during the week - I don't have time for a social life.  Weekends, I want to relax (and admittedly, cram a bit of work in where I can).  I've swapped cosy nights on the sofa with the other-half, for cosy nights on the sofa with my mum.  Why?

I'm lonely.  It's not that I've swapped the party-girl lifestyle for something second-rate.  I love coming home from work, cooking dinner for the other-half and I - sharing a bath and curling up to watch crap tv all evening.  After spending years sharing each other with our group of friends - we finally have a place of our own, a bit of privacy - and a lot of quality time.  But with him away travelling and my social circle in another city - I'm flying solo.

Quite honestly, I'd much rather spend the weekend with my mum and multiple bottles of good red wine - than spend it in dodgy pubs with people who don't really interest me.  My mum really is my best friend.  We laugh at the same things, we get drunk after two glasses of wine - and we gossip about the old-times and the people we both know.  I never really read anything into that.  Since I moved, all my time has been spent with the other half, or with my family.  That's why I moved.  After years of being away from the people I loved the most - it was time to come 'home' and spend time with the people who really mattered - my family. 

However, I'm not going to pretend that my sister's comment didn't hit me like a smack in the face.  Is it really 'not normal' to want to spend time with my mother instead of whoring it up in bad nightclubs with 'acquaintances'?  The way I spend my free time has changed.  After a week at work - I'm quite simply too knackered to want to do anything but relax and have some 'me' time.

After my mother told me of the 'not normal' comment that my sister made.  I had a brief "oh God, my little sister thinks I'm really boring..." moment.  I concluded that I might be boring, but I wasn't bored.  With the other-half away - I needed company that wasn't false.  I needed my best friend.  My mum.

You can imagine my horror last night - when my sister called me and mumbled, "So uh, what are you doing on Saturday night?"  My sister, who spends her saturday nights with her boyfriend and group of friends, drinking vodka, smoking pot and 'swaying' to noise that quite simply does not pass as music - wanted to know what I was doing Saturday night.

My answer - "Nothing..." - was met with, "Didn't think so.  Do you want to like, uh.. Hang out or something?" 

I almost dropped the phone.  Despite being totally alone in my living room - I raised an eyebrow and replied, "Hang out?  What, me and you?"

My sister told me that she was at a 'loose end' this Saturday.  Her boyfriend was away, her friends were all busy - and she wondered if I would like to 'watch some movies and uh, like, drink some... wine?"

She doesn't drink wine.  She drinks vodka.  Or alcopops (usually with vodka chasers).  She doesn't watch movies - she watches MTV, and she is never under any circumstances at a 'loose end' on a Saturday night.

I was tempted to tell her that I was busy - that I didn't really want to spend a Saturday night sat on my sofa in silence with her.. But I was brought up with manners - and replied, "Sure, that sounds good."

As I hung up the phone, I realised what had just happened.  I was no longer looking out for my baby sister - my baby sister, despise disliking me even more than I did her - was looking out for me.  I had been given the pity vote.  My reward?  Saturday night with Wednesday Adams' twin.

I've spent most of today replaying our short conversation, over and over.  I'm filled with a sense of loyalty and love, suprised that she would even notice that I'm lonely and at a constant 'loose end' without the other-half or the company of my usual group of friends.  On the other hand, I am utterly mortified that my little sister would take pity on my social life - to the point where she would actually feel that she needs to spend time with me.  Utterly. Mortified.

Sure, we love each other.  But quite honestly, we can't stand each other.  More to the point, she can't stand movies or wine.  Rather than tell her to shove her pity vote up her backside - I'm so touched that she'd actually care - that I'm going to spend Saturday night pretending that my other-best-friend, is my little sister.

Her reaction to my cautious reply was laced with false excitement, "Great.  I'll bring my toothbrush.."

So not only will we be spending Saturday night in each other's company - we'll be having a sleepover.  I can't find the words to express how utterly over joyed I am.  Really.   Heh.

God, I hope she brings pot. 

For my Grandma's birthday - I made her a keepsake box.  It's covered in pretty embellishments and ties with an over-sized ribbon at the front..  Inside I put slips of scented paper with special memories written on, newspaper clippings of my Granddad, and photographs of our family..

She cried when she opened it, and said "I'm glad I have something lovely to keep my memories inside - so when I'm gone they wont be lost.."

I would have been flattered that she loved it so much, if it hasn't been so incredibly sad to see her accept the inevitable..  She's old, frail and chronically depressed - but she's stronger than all of us put together.  And that's definately something to smile about.

I threw a party this Christmas..  Possibly one of the most stressful parties I've ever thrown - but I did myself proud.. And I'm going to brag about it! ;)

I did a boxing-day-buffet..  All home cooked food, lots of wine, lots of alternatives for the non-wine-drinking crowd..  After a day spent flapping about in the kitchen, I had a fridge full of nibbles, snacks and what-ever-else you want to call buffet food..  When the guests arrived, I kissed and hugged, opened wine handed out drinks, made small talk..  I'd planned my lighting perfectly - not so dark that people couldn't see, but dim enough to be relaxing..  We had drinks, I cooked the hot food, uncovered the cold food - and handed out my best china plates for people to eat from (whilst praying no one would break anything!)..

After spending quite literally a whole day cleaning the house and preparing food - I watched the buffet diminish quickly..  My home made pastries and sandwiches disappeared, hand carved meats and sliced cheeses were wolfed down as though they hadn't taken me forever to prepare and present.. 

Three glasses of (good) wine later, I managed to actually relax, and eat something..  (I always find that hours of cooking leaves me with absolutely no desire to eat).  My family and friends crammed into my tiny living room - sprawled across the sofas and the floor..  Wine flowed, music blared and people talked about drunken rubbish..

And then, in the middle of washing up the dirty dishes, in my party dress and four inch heels.. The other half came into the kitchen, slipped his arms around my waist and whispered,

"All that hard work paid off, baby..  Everyone is having a wonderful time and you look amazing.  I can't wait to throw dinner parties for my friends, just so I can show off my beautiful, talented wife.."

And that, made the hours of work, the beaten-up-credit-card and the fairy-liquid splashes all over my ridiculously expensive dress - all worth it.  I had actually enjoyed playing at being a domestic goddess.. I was appreciated, and I was loved. 

Nothing can express how much we all miss you. 

Moon River

3 comments

Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossin' you in style some day
Old dream maker, you heartbreaker
Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me

I'm sick.. Like, really sick. Achey, hot/cold, can't breathe kind of sick.. The kind of sick where you desperately want someone to put you to bed and bring you lemsip and tissues.

The dragon didn't come over. I went over there instead.. I wish she didn't feel the need to repeatedly inform me that she doesn't like it when I 'do that' to my hair.. Because, see, my hair IS curly, and I don't 'do' anything to it. Yeah it looks a bit like a mop, or a twelve year old choir boys hair.. But sometimes, it's just too much effort to spend 30 minutes straightening your hair. Especially when you're really sick. Besides, some people like my hair like this. I don't know who.. But I'm sure someone, secretly, adores my fluffy curls. ....Maybe.

I've taken more flu medication than is probably advisable.. But everyone does that....don't they?

Sick

I'm not a huge fan of being sick when there's no one around.. I'm not getting any sympathy.. Not to mention the fact that I'm starving, but no one's here to make me soup - so I figure I just wont eat. You can't cook when you're sick - you have to be fed. It's a well known fact. So, here I am, in my gigantic (once-white) gray knickers and nine-year-old-tshirt.. With a sniffly nose, a nasty cough and a distinct lack of ability to breathe..
I am so sexy right now. :)

image courtesy of unbossed.com