Dirty Little Secrets.. [1]

I've always been partial to great big, Bridget-Jones style knickers..  The ones that are huge, comfy - horrendous.

Ok, they're not pretty.. But they're practical.  Ish..  They are guilty of giving you a great big VPL, which makes your bottom look as though it should have it's own postcode.. They are guilty of screaming, quite obviously, "I am not going to have sex with you tonight, because I have big pants on!".  But, I think my big knickers are quite cute..  Suprisingly, so does the other-half.

The other-half's first meeting with my beloved big knickers, was when I moved house..

Most things had managed to slip out of the woodwork, over the years we'd been together.. He'd heard my horrendous guffawing laughter, he'd witnessed fits of giggles that land me in tears, with hiccups .. He had tolerated my irrational love-affair with shoes that I can't walk in or afford, and the countless sets of 'pretty' underwear that I bought for no obvious reason at all.  But he hadn't seen the big pants.

Granted, I had, and still have, a slight habit of buying pretty underwear when I don't really need it.  But for all the pretty knickers in the world, I wouldn't give up my granny-pants.

As I emptied my enormous collection of pretty (and not-so-pretty) undies into a cardboard box - I shoved the huge pants to the bottom.  I was secretly hoping that we could be together for the rest of our lives - but that, somehow, he'd still be unaware of my dirty little secret (well, clean big secret, actually!)..  A tragic love affair with horrendous knickers..

As he hauled the boxes into the back of my car, he noted the rather large box marked 'undies'.  Winking, he laughed, "Better be careful with these, eh?"  I smiled back at him, quitely amused that he was unaware that nestling in the bottom of the box, lay ten pairs of huge knickers, that once white - were now a murky gray..  (In-amongst other horrible knickers - but that set of ten, in all honesty, really were the worst..).

(I know I should have thrown them out.  But, they were comfy.  And quite frankly - sometimes it's nice to slob out in your big pants and know full well that you look awful!)

Unfortunately, there were not ten pairs of huge knickers in that box.  There were nine.  The tenth lay on my bedroom floor - waiting to be discovered. 

He did discover those knickers.  He laughed, and waved them in the air like a great big grey flag.. 

That night, I came out of the shower to find my big knickers waiting for me.. 
More importantly, I found my other-half, waiting for me to put them on.